Breaking the Cycle

One day I received a call from an artist manager I’d been working with. I glanced down at the phone and had an immediate visceral reaction.

Fuuuuuuuuuckkkkk… Nausea coated my stomach. My nervous system was firing on all cylinders.

You see, for months our communication had been off, and each conversation was becoming more and more contentious, as the manager attempted to whittle away at my commissions.

Let me explain.

In our industry, booking agents generally receive 10% of the gross revenue from an artist’s live performances. But instead of agreeing to standard practice, this manager was trying to convince me to commission only 10% of the net (after their tour expenses). This is a problematic deal for any agent, because we have no control of what the artist decides to spend their tour budget on. If they decide to travel in a luxury tour bus and stay at five star hotels, that shouldn’t be our concern.

But this wasn’t about extravagance. My real issue was the way it made me feel- undervalued and underappreciated. I thought to myself— you wouldn’t pull this shit with CAA or WME, so why are you playing games with me?

Being a newly independent booking agent at the time, I was already going above and beyond, handling tasks that normal agents would never trouble themselves with. So I was starting to feel played. And as the feeling ate at me, I found it harder to find kindness and understanding with each conversation.

That is until this particular day, when the phone rang.

I don’t know if it was especially sunny or I’d just finished a morning meditation, or walked to the beach, but I was in a good mood. And I decided in that moment to not allow this call to ruin my day.

I picked up in the most cheerful tone I could muster, and began a purposeful, personal, and considerate conversation. I asked about the fam and how things were going in his life. I avoided all talk of business. And that conversation continued for an hour, as he reciprocated my kindness. It was genuine. I truly enjoyed the talk.

Our relationship changed from that day on. We developed a new understanding and appreciation of each other. It was a true game changer.

Around the same time, I was doing a lot of soul searching. I was lumbering through a painful divorce, battling over custody and child support. It was the most challenging obstacle I’d ever been faced with, and I was struggling mightily.

I soon after began reading “The 80/20 Principle”, which expounded on the The Pareto Principle, a theory that basically states 80% of your success comes from 20% of your efforts, while the other 80% of your efforts only yields 20% of your positive results.

To simplify, the goal is to get rid of the most time consuming and energy sucking situations that bring you the least reward.

I quickly realized that an 80/20 analysis could be done on anything in life— joy, relationships, happiness, stress, success. Anything.

And soon after, I began to weed out stressful relationships, especially if they brought me no joy, or at the very least, no substantial income. I decided if you were going to make my life a living hell, then you’d better be paying me handsomely for that privilege.

I didn’t just contemplate the 80/20 theory. I began to formulate an actual plan. I started a spreadsheet, with all of my clients listed in the first column. I calculated the approximate time spent on each artist, the financial return, upside, stress inflicted, and personal joy in working with them.

It became obvious who I needed to cut out of my life immediately. And it became equally apparent which relationships I needed to nurture. I only needed to do this once to develop a better understanding of the toxicity I was allowing into my life.

I highly recommend this simple exercise for anyone feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Sometimes, one simple removal can provide you a monumental benefit. I know it did the trick for me.

If nothing else, just be aware that there are likely a few people in your life who are doing the most damage. It’s up to you what you do with that awareness.

For anyone interested in a consulting session with me, I’m giving away one FREE 30 minute zoom at the top of each month.

To be eligible, fill out the form HERE (if you haven’t already).

Our community lost an absolute legend, and one of the nicest people you could ever meet this week, Dave aka Trugoy the Dove aka Plug Two from De La Soul.

For those who haven’t followed the battle between De La Soul and Tommy Boy Records, it was recently announced that De La Soul was finally able to buy back their masters and clear their samples, following Reservoir Media’s 2021 acquisition of Tommy Boy. De La’s first six albums will be finally be released on streaming platforms for the first time on March 3rd. Let’s bump that shit for Dave.

If you can think of anyone at all who would benefit from the Follow the Thread Crumbs newsletter, please put them onto us. I greatly appreciate the referrals, and look forward to continuing to grow this community.

Til next week.